The Phamily Times

I just looked up my own blog today only  to find out that I have not posted new content in over a month. I thought, “That’s terrible, Timmy.” and then found out that I actually posted no new content for the entire month of August.  And really, that worked out well for me because I know how to say “Two Months” in French thanks to the Simpsons. They never said “One Month” on there, thus I don’t know how to say that phrase. And since I’m hoping to avoid Deux Mes of no posts, here are some snippets of the bizness.*

Now Presenting: A Triple Feature of Extra Golden Special Stories.

Act I – The closest I got to a pirate costume for Halloween.

Waaaaaaay back in probably 2004 or so, I decided that I was going to invest a little time and money every year into the same costume. That chosen costume was a pirate. Imagine how cool that costume would be now if I had actually done what I said I was going to do.  I’d probably have a tri-corn, some cool boots, a puffy shirt, eye patch, oooh, a big dirty scimitar or saber, maybe a cool barrel loading pistol. The possibilities are endless since it’s all imaginative. The closest thing I have to a pirate costume is a wig that might pass for unwashed pirate hair. And for the record, there might be a viking helmet one day. I’ve been trying to get that done for several years as well.

Act II – Read Book??

Since this blog is kind of supposed to be about Delton…he really likes to read books right now. And I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY** likes to read books. And I encourage that for sure, don’t get me wrong, but I can only read “The Poky Little Puppy” so many times. He also has these Dora the Explorer books that I more or less have memorized. I do have a fun little game that I’ve made up where I just turn the pages and make up a story as I go, a la Abilene 1999-2000 (you know what I’m talkin’ bout!) or MST3K (You probably don’t know what I”m talking about, unless you’re super duper geeked out cool) and I’m proud to report that these stories have not once digressed into bloody battles between Dora and Boots or stories about the time Dora and Boots were arrested for plotting to blow up Parliament on Guy Fawkes Day or something. But, be warned, it could happen. So, let me just end with this caveat, if Delton ever tells you a story that I told him and it sounds like something that you remember actually happening only the names were changed to protect the innocent, then it is likely not deja vu. It probably really did happen and I just ran out of random stories to tell so I had to revert to the actual truth.

**I contemplated cut and pasting that a shlockload of times but that joke is kind of played out, so I guess..you’re welcome

Act III – Chicanery Free Collectibles

First of all, I’m a little confused as to what that title exactly means but I wrote it several different ways and all seemed as though they contained some type of double entendre*** which was not my intent in any way. This is just a little reminder for everyone as to what exactly this blog is all about. It’s about The Boy. It’s about families and engaging with your child on a personal basis as much as possible. It’s about enjoying life as a child would and remembering that it really is the simple things in life which bring us the most happiness. It’s about the joy that Mista Miroki gives me when he expresses his awe and appreciation for a pumpkin, or that I never get tired of hearing him say, “Oh! Pumpkin!”. It’s about the wonder and amazement of a special little man that shouts out, “Oh, Spiderman!” when he sees a Spiderman toothbrush, only it sounds like “Spynennnenn!” or maybe just, “I see something, Daddy!”  Or that he asks me constantly to read him books and I happily oblige. Or that we sat down the other night to watch “You’re a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.”**** and D Money occasionally just looked over and said,  while smiling, or actually beaming, “Watch Movie”, while happily pointing at the TV.  It’s about how a child’s laughter can be so infectious as to give you fits of laughter weeks later when simply remembering that moment. It’s about the simple joy of spending time with your child or someone else’s child and feeling young again. And isn’t that what it should ALWAYS be about, friendos?

Word of advice: Don’t read these subnotes unless you really have nothing better to do. They’re extremely rambling and mostly for my own entertainment. If you however, think every single thing I do and say is as funny as I do, then these are also for you:

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*The bizness refers to pretty much anything you would like it to mean. Also, if that isn’t how you spell “Deux Mes” in French, then you’ll have to understand that I (a) really don’t care and (b) don’t really care to look up the proper spelling and (c) am not a wine swilling, terrorist loving Frenchy (I didn’t realize it was going to digress into xenophobia and bigotry/racism here today but most people don’t care about when you make fun of the French, and it’s also in italics so that makes it okay if you ask me.) Boy, you’re sorry you stuck around for that last part, aren’t you?

***Again, it might be spelled wrong but I don’t know, I’m not a Frenchy and for that matter, I’m not even sure that word is French. I mean, I think denouement is French but this is not the denouement although denouement would have been an okay term to use in order to avoid the aforementioned double entendre. Capische? See, now that’s hilarious because I just used an Italian slang word to finish a sentence which contained some ridiculous French. Aren’t you glad you have me to explain why jokes are funny? Wanna shake hands with a black millionaire?

****I’m too lazy/bored/scared/cold/tired/exhausted/hyper/enthralled/obsequious to look up whatever the title of that movie was on The Internet. That’s one thing I really despise about The Internet. It really does make you work to put all that information at your fingertips. Internet, you’re kind of selfish.