The Phamily Times

Becoming a parent really changes things. You learn about the little things. Like for example, even though a squeal of delight from the other room is always incriminating, sometimes the absence of a squeal, or even stone silence is just as bad.

You would think it would be the opposite. But in our house, when the boy is not making his usual noises, it means he’s up to no good at all. Case in point: The Silent Dismantling of Blueberries, which he was supposed to be eating.

Big Baby D is 18 months old today (3/27/2009) and that’s kind of momentous. It means you get to start purchasing tobacco products. Oh, that’s 18 years, never mind.

It means you get to vote! Oh, that’s also 18 years.

It means Mom and Dad get a little discount now on child care expenses! YEAH BOY!!!! (if you didn’t know, the ratios can be higher by law at 18 months, hence more kids in classes, hence prices are lower. You know, economies of scale)

I think the best way to celebrate this joyous occasion is to let Alice Cooper recite us a poem:

I’m Eighteen

by Alice Cooper

Lines form on my face and hands

Lines form from the ups and downs

I’m in the middle without any plans

I’m a boy and I’m a man

I’m eighteen, and I don’t know what I want

Eighteen,I just don’t know what I want

Eighteen, I gotta get away

I gotta get out of this place

I’ll go runnin in outer space

Oh yeah

I got a baby’s brain and an old man’s heart

Took eighteen years (months) to get this far

Don’t always know what I’m talkin’ about

Feels like I’m livin in the middle of doubt

Cause I’m Eighteen

I get confused every day

Eighteen

I just don’t know what to say

Eighteen

I gotta get away

Lines form on my face and my hands

Lines form on the left and right

I’m in the middle

the middle of life

I’m a boy and I’m a man

I’m eighteen and I LIKE IT

Yes I like it

Oh I like it

Love it

Like it

Love it

Eighteen!

Eighteen!

Eighteen!

Eighteen and I LIKE IT

If you don’t know, this is really a song written by rock musician Alice Cooper in protest of the Vietnam War.

(This picture is not from the day he turned 18 months but it really captures the zeitgeist of a moody 18 year old who’s a boy and also a man.)